2011: A trip outside my comfort zone

• I will be more spiritual on a daily basis.
• I will buy less: less name brands, less quantity, less in general.
• I will have more love and compassion towards others.
• I will try everyday to do something to make someone else smile.
• I will accept 100% that I'm choosing love over NYC.
• I will be more positive.
• I will me more open to the idea of potential marriage and children.
• I will think more of the simple life.
• I will be right sized.
• I'm going to live in love.

forever a pessimist

We sometimes do things that are permanently foolish just because we are temporarily upset.  "A lot of heartache can be avoided if you learn to control your emotions." ~said no one ever.

Everyone makes mistakes.  If you can't forgive others, don't expect others to forgive you.  To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you.

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying.  The mindset of your past being indicative of your further is a trap, but the truth is your reality can be whatever you want it to be.  The limits to what you can acheive are an illusion.

I smoke because it reminds me I'm still breathing

I wish I still had one of those hypercolor t-shirts.  I wish I had still had one of those No Fear t-shirts.

Giving all of your love to someone is no guarantee they will love you back.  Do not expect love in return-just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if not, be content it grew in yours.  What love sick optimist wrote that crap?

Dear Universe, I'm tired of learning your lessons.

Never trust a Cubs fan.  Ever.

I hate middle ground.  It's black or white.  Yes or no.  I was not born with the gene of moderation.

I genuinely hate people.

Hoped I could learn a little about give and take, came here, felt the joy and the fear, found myself making every possible mistake.

Sometimes the most ordinary things can be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right person.  touché.  I'd rather be alone.

Regardless of how filthy your past is~your future is still spotless.  you must not own a voodoo doll.

Sometimes when you push a person past their limits you make them realize they had no business being so close to the line.

cuz this happens in real life

Young Noah: It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.
Young Allie: What's that supposed to mean?
Young Noah: [yelling] Money. He's got a lot of money!
Young Allie: You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.
Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch.
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
Young Allie: It's not that simple.
Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want?
Young Allie: I have to go now. 

Optimists annoy me

You, mon cherie, are afraid of yourself, you don't want to be hurt, and you have a negative self image and you are terrified that people once they get to know will reject you, so you do it before they do it. Ta da!

Please, just be a little bit more trusting of you, consider the following:

1. Make a list of your qualities 
2. Make a list of your shortcomings 
3. Make a list of your favorites activities 
4. Tell the people you know, the ones with whom you feel good of course, what you like about them, and then ask them what they like about you.

The first two will give you a fresh perspective about yourself, the third one should give you the chance to do what you like, and while you enjoy your favorite activities you can meet people with whom you'll have a greater chance of being compatible, the last is an exercise of love. Trust your instincts about yourself and others. Also, accept that there will be rejection, some people will hurt, and you'll do the same too, is all part of life. Just live, there will be people that will tell you that you should treat people as you want to be treated, is true, but a warning: there are individuals that no matter how you treat them they will not correspond, and will use you as a punching bag just let them go, don't let them in your life.

Last thing, forget about the past, with that I mean this: remember it so you don't make the same mistakes all over again, and also if you ever meet someone that is like the people that hurt you in the manner they talk, act, treat you and others, run like hell....You know why because now you can choose the people in your life. Don't make your past your present, just use it as a reference page. Now, my dear enjoy your walk in the sun, along with the occasional rain. Use the power of positive actions, actions, I said, not thinking, why? Because, you can think all you want, but one must get ahead and do, no matter what.

Because it's just sooooo easy to do

Trust: Just as you would not want to do business with someone you can't trust, this law simply stated is: When you can completely trust the process of the universe and life, you will be supplied abundantly and you will be able to make your life work just the way you want it. And the trust you give and have must be 100% or it is zero. It cannot be given under one condition and not under another. There are many things we trust with our lives and have no concern about. Such as: the sun will come up every day; the law of gravity works all the time; the pilot who pilots the plane we fly on, is competent; our garbage is picked up on certain days. If we could not trust the things we take for granted will occur without any effort on our part, the fear for our well being would be so great we would not be able to enjoy our lives. Can you imagine what the world would be like, if we could not trust the food we buy, the water we drink or that the people we depend on would not manipulate or harm us? But the only way we can expect others to trust us is, we need to be trustworthy ourselves, and especially to ourselves. Unfortunately, many people don't trust themselves and the judgments and decisions they make. Therefore, they experience disharmony with their lives and their world.

From my mother

       When I first moved out for college (many many moons ago) my mother framed this for me to hang in my room:                                     


                                          "I Hope You Dance"

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, 
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. 

Dance....I hope you dance. 
I hope you dance....I hope you dance. 
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..

InSatiAbLe

I like holding hands and long walks on the beach. I wanna lie in the sand and look up at the stars. I trip over nothing and laugh hysterically about it. I am literally addicted to chapstick. I don’t like chocolate, but can eat an entire bag of potato chips for dinner. I tend to think inanimate objects are real. I can't whistle-like not even a little bit.

White daisies are my favorite: plain and simple. However, any good smelling flowers will do. I tend to think red roses are precocious, but will never turn them down. I’m a total clean freak and a tad OCD. My friends think I’m their own version of the Truman Show. I will go live in a hut in Fiji for at least 2 weeks before I die. I must see the Northern lights in Alaska and go on a whale cruise. I’ve seen many sunrises at the beach on the east coast, but have yet to see the sunset on the west coast. I’m not a girly girl, but I am a Tiffany whore. Deal with it.

I try very hard to live in the moment-each moment as it’s occurring, not the moment just before, or the one just after-the actual moment. It’s hard. I wonder why we exist-like the whole world. Why does anything exist? I love riding in the car with the windows down, yet I’ll still complain when my hair is in knots afterwards. I want to road trip with the Cardinals and follow them to every game for an entire year.

I tend to get my rights and lefts mixed up. I love to travel and am up for a road trip almost any weekend. I’m gracefully clumsy. I won’t chase money, love, or happiness-money’s not that important and love and happiness start from within. I like being alone, but don’t want to be lonely. I’m a sucker for good smelling men’s cologne; I’ll do almost anything for you if you smell good enough. I like to argue, but not fight.

I believe that nothing is absolute, but I can absolutely defend my beliefs. I understand that chance is prevalent in all aspects of life, but never leave anything important to chance. I am skeptical about everything, but realistic in the face of my skepticism. I base everything on probability, but so does nature...probably. I believe that all our actions are determined, but feel completely free to do as I choose. I know that logic makes an argument sound, but also know that passion makes an argument sound logical. I always think very practically, but do not always like to think about the practical. I have a million dreams, but I am more than just a dreamer. I am usually content, but never satisfied.

I am a study in contradiction, but there is not an inconsistency to be found.