Times Square can't shine as bright as you

I feel like I'm destined for great things, I just don't know what they are.  Maybe I'm wrong and I just hope that I'm right.  That's probably more like it.  What if I'm just supposed to be the gypsy that moves all the time, doesn't keep a constant job, and can never get out of debt?  What if that's my thing?  Well, ok, then that's my thing.  Suitable considering it's not normal.  I used to try to be different, now I just am.  Like when New Kids on the Block were this mega sensation when I was little.  I hated them and I only hated them because everyone else (my age) loved them.  I tried so hard to be different, to be special, to stand out.  I don't have to try anymore, I just am.

I don't want to get married.  I don't think.  Do I?  Nah.  I'm too selfish for that.  I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it and I don't want to consult anyone about any of my decisions.  Yeap, selfish.  Sometimes, I think getting married would be ok-if he were a punk rock gypsy that has the same laxidasical attitude that I do.  Someone just to hang out with-a constant companion.  But I'm a gemini and gemini's get bored quickly and not only will I get bored with you, but I'll inevitably tell you that I'm bored with you.  Plus, I'm a jealous person.  And I have lots of guy friends and he'd have to be ok with that.  Which means that I'd have to be ok with him having girl friends.  Otherwise I'd just be a hypocrite and we just can't have that.

Likewise, I don't want to have children.  I would like to feel how being pregnant feels (maybe), but I think I would try to return the kid and I don't think they come with a 30 day return policy.  Maybe if you have your receipt.  Kids are just always around.  I enjoy my me time too much for that.  Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a daughter (whom I've named, yet refuse to tell you) and have a Gilmore Girls relationship.  That makes me smile. Yes, I've named children I'm not having; I wouldn't be me if I made sense.

I don't know what I want.  Maybe all my ideas on marriage and children would change if I just met the right person, the one I'm not looking for.  It'd be ok with me to be alone forever.  I would just have to face the consequences of what society (aka my mother) thinks about that.  I get tired of people telling me how pretty I am and how there is a great guy out there for me and it will all come together eventually.  ugh.  What if I just don't want it people?!  Why does society think that there is something wrong with single people once they've reached a certain age?  Like if you aren't married or had a kid by the time you're like 28 (more so for woman than men) then you are either pitied or black marked as a dud?  Is it true you like to sleep alone or is it what you just tell everyone?

What if I just want to be single, write, listen to music, read books, and drink coffee forever?  perfect-o.